The Beginnings
by Lilyannlou2
Summary: set after the tenth power back in w merithurous, means new beginnings for calwyn,darrow, tonno keela ect.but is the power to much for calwyn to bare alone? chapter 3 is up FINALLY!
1. Nightmares&Obligations

Hello guys. This is a previous story from a loooong time ago that I uploaded. Unfortunately the username that I published it under is inaccessible as I have long since gotten a new email address. Anywho, I resurected the story out of the blue, just for fun because I have always loved these books. The story picks up where The Tenth Power left off, the crew is back in Merithurous. I hope you all like it :)

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me.

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**ChapterOne**

_Nightmares_**&**Obligations

**_Calwyn's POV_**

…_Her feet beat against the hard ground as she ran. Where she was running she could not see for the sky was dark without even the light of stars to guide her. Who she was running to was a girl, her friend. The girl's screams pierced the night and grew louder as Calwyn neared. Her heart pounding against her chest, and the sound of her feet pounding against the ground combined to create one nerve-wracking song. At last Calwyn reached a clearing. Two dark figures came into view. One crouched over the other stabbing it repeatedly. The figure being stabbed was clearly Mica. Her golden eyes locked on her murderer. A scream rose in Calwyn's throat but she pushed it back down. The killer raised her knife once more to finish the job. Mica's gold eyes began to flutter as death came upon her. Calwyn couldn't take it anymore. She opened her mouth to yell, to stop the assassin._

"_Stop!" She heard herself say. Her voice sounded far away, as if she wasn't really there. The figure with the knife paid her no attention and brought the knife down hard once more eliciting a cry from the already half dead Mica._

"_Stop, I said! You're killing her!" Calwyn opened her mouth once more to yell at the killer but no words came out, for the assassin had turned to face her. For once the heart that had been pounding in Calwyn's breast as she ran stopped, if only for a second. The assassin stared back at her with cold hard eyes, brown and unforgiving. Hair like black silk and a scowl on her beautiful but enraged face. Calwyn's hand flew to her chest as a sob broke from her. The assassin was her._

Calwyn woke with a start. The place where Darrow had lay was cold and vacant as she knew it would be. He said it would be easier to leave with her sleeping, but it only made the aching feeling in her chest deepen when she woke and he was not there. The past months she had taken to slipping into his bedchamber at night. During the months of their pursuit of Samis she had grown so used to the sound of his light breathing beside her, his hand thrown casually across her waist. Now she couldn't seem to sleep without it. Though Darrow had left in the dark of night, it was not his departure that had awakened her. It was the frighteningly real nightmare that seemed to torment her each night. Every night she would wake, screaming from some hideous dream. It became systematic that she would wake, scream, Darrow would then soothe her, and she would lay awake the rest of the night in his arms, too frightened to go back to sleep, lest the nightmare returned. This night no one was here to soothe her back to sleep, there were no strong arms to protect her from whatever lurked in the dark spaces of the room.

Slowly she rose from the bed pulling the sheet with her and walked out onto the balcony where the early morning sky was spangled with stars. Calwyn leaned against the rail and watched Merithurous sleep. Still as she waited for the sun to rise, images from her dream taunted her. The mirror image of herself. There was Mica, Tonno, and Halassa, and Trout. There was Darrow and Keela. And there was Samis. The thought of him sent chills down her spine. She saw their last confrontation. Saw the resigned look in his face as she sent him off. She saw Mica's empty gold eyes, heard Trout's sobs. Obligations. People she loved, people she loathed, but all obligations. Then she pushed them all away.

The sun was rising over Merithurous gradually lighting the palace with faint gold light. There would be things to take care of today in Darrow's absence. Arguments to settle, meetings to be arranged, speeches to make. Calwyn cringed. She had never been good at speaking. Nevertheless she would have to, Darrow trusted her to keep the peace while he was away and she would try her best. Reluctantly she returned to her own bedchamber and dressed. It would be a long day.


	2. A Sister

**ChapterTwo**

_A sister_

It was the second time that afternoon that Calwyn ached to bolt from the room. She could feel her eyes become moist, her voice faltered. How could one person challenging her cause her to doubt herself so? How she hated the eyes that watched her every move. Waiting. They were all waiting for her to make a slip. Waiting for her to say, or do something wrong. That would satisfy them, confirm their suspicions.

As she looked around the room she could imagine the thoughts of the men around her. _What was Darrow thinking, leaving a woman with power in his absence?_ _She is about as capable of running this place, as a child._ With her heightened sense of power she didn't have to imagine what everyone was thinking, she could _feel_ it. She could feel Fenn's fierce irritation at her incompetence, the black clad sorcerer's unmasked doubt. And the rebels and courtiers both flustered and upset with Darrow's decision to leave her in charge.

The only person in the room that held no feeling of jealousy or doubt sat to the right of her, with an encouraging smile upon her beautiful face. Keela winked at Calwyn in that charming way of hers as she stood. The former third princess of Merithurous appraised the room of men, sorcerers, rebels and courtiers alike. She shook her head as she paced around the room, a lovely smile playing on her full lips. "Friends," she began. "Hear me." She began circling the table around which all the men sat, softly brushing her hand along their backs.

"There are no foolish men here, no one incapable of helping rebuild this land." "You are all _strong_ and able men are you not?" She said stopping where Fenn sat, giving him a small squeeze on the shoulder.

The arrogant man at once sat a little straighter, raised his chin a little higher. Keela continued her walk around the room.

"The restoration of Merithurous cannot be achieved without the aid of all you fine men. Merithurous needs leaders, sensible, skilled men like yourselves. Together we can change the way the people of this land think. Together, we can change Merithurous."

Everyone's eyes in the room followed her, as if they were all bewitched, including Calwyn's. _Like Samis._ Calwyn thought ruefully. Calwyn remembered the way Samis's words flowed, as smooth and sweet as the honey of Antaris. How he could persuade almost anyone to do anything. Keela evidently shared his gift. All of the men sat a little straighter, Keela's little speech making them feel a bit more important. But as Keela's smile vanished they became uneasy.

"Yes, it will be a wondrous day when Merithurous becomes new, but my brothers, I fear it shall never be if…" Her lips became a hard line as she studied the men who were hanging on to her every word. Then her eyes locked with Calwyn. She turned back to the men. "That day, that day of achievement will never come unless we all work together. _All_ of us, including the women." A slow smile spread across Calwyn's face.

"I deem you all foolish men if you cannot see the power that flows throughout this woman standing here." She said nodding to Calwyn. "The lord of the black palace did not leave his ring with her without reason, is there anyone that doubts that?" Her voice suddenly hard, challenging the mean. "Are you so proud, so set in your ways that you cannot take orders from a woman?" "You cannot deny the power that she holds."

Calwyn appraised the woman standing across the long table from her. Keela's pale blue eyes burned with determination as she dared each and every one of the men to contradict her.

How different Keela was from the woman Calwyn had met almost a year ago in the Palace of Cobwebs. The self absorbed woman who had called Calwyn a little _nadu_, and _plain_. She was the woman who time and again compromised the safety of Calwyn's friends. But now things were different. _Keela _was different. Of course she still had her charms, but now there was a different air about her. She no longer used her wits to hurt and manipulate others. She used them to better Merithurous and her friends. So could Calwyn actually call Keela her friend?

The words of Briaali sounded in her mind. _You and she will be bound together for all time. You were both reborn from the Knot of the Waters; you are sisters now._

Yes, Keela was a friend. And she was fast becoming a sister, as Briaali had predicted. Though Calwyn was happy to have a new friend, her mind took on another track. She began to think again of a girl who was once her friend. A girl who was once her sister.


	3. Unbearable

Hey everyone! This is the brand new chapter to my old story "The Beginnings" I haven't been on this site in forever but decided to pick p the story again just for fun, I hope you all enjoy the new chapter, please be sure to leave feedback, all of your comments help me make the story better! Thank You! :)

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**ChapterThree**

_Unbearable_

**_Calwyn's POV _**

Calwyn sank wearily into her seat at the head of the long table. The debate on land had lasted for hours. She wondered fleetingly how Darrow could stand to listen to these men drone on and on about who deserved what and who had wronged who. Their bickering was infantile, and though she was obligated to listen, it made her head ache. She dropped her head into her hands and thought wearily, _It is only day one_. It was true, it would take Darrow at least five days to reach Hult, and negotiations once he arrived could last for days. A fortnight alone with these disgruntled courtiers and the equally unpleasant sorcerers seemed unbearable. Calwyn longed for some sense of normalcy. She had had trouble adjusting to life here in the vast palace, so far from home. Though they had been here for nearly two months, the palace's glossy black walls and winding corridors still seemed strange to her, not at all like home. Now that Darrow had gone, the place seemed all the more foreign. Calwyn thought of the only other person she knew felt as alone and out of place as her in this place and rose from her place at the table at once to go and find him.

**_Trout's POV_**

Trout was working away in one of the many spare rooms on one of his many projects. He was so entirely absorbed in his work that he did not notice Calwyn by the door. He had been like this since they arrived. In fact, thinking back, he had been in this state almost the entire journey back to Merithurous. His deep blue eyes which were normally bright with some new idea or narrowed as he tried to perfect an invention had lost all light since Mica's death. Since then he wore the look of the lost. His eyes remained blank and unseeing, as if he were caught in an unending dream. The only time there would be a spark of life in him was when he would catch Tonno steal a quick kiss from Keela or overhear the hushed sounds of passion coming from Darrow and Calwyn at night. In these moments, instead of emptiness there was pain. He knew that his friends were considerate of him, that they tried to be discreet, but he wasn't blind. Tonno and Keela were easy enough to bear even though their shy glances and whispered words cut him each time he happened to see it. Calwyn and Darrow were another thing entirely.

Since nearly being separated from each other forever there was a new fiery urgency to their relationship as if they felt they would be torn apart at any moment. He saw it in the way they looked at one another saying nothing but everything all at once; the way Darrow would kiss her when he thought no one was looking, ravenously as though her lips were his only sustenance. Worst of all was at night, when he could hear them faintly from his own bed. Each moan of pleasure stabbed at his heart. The intensity of his friends love was too much for him to bear. So he had retreated to the far side of the palace, where it was cool, still dim and shadowy from where the children had not yet opened windows. Away from the reminders of what he had lost, of what he could never have. It was there that Calwyn found him now. Trying tirelessly to create some form of reliable writing, a task he had been working on since their return.

"No luck yet?" Came a voice from the door.

Trout looked up to see Calwyn leaned against the doorframe. She looked tired.

"I'm making progress I think."He murmured pushing his lenses further up his nose.

She came closer and took a seat near him by the table. She told him about her day, about the nonsensical bickering of the courtiers, how Keela had to stand up for her, how she felt so out of place here. Trout nodded absently as he carefully painted symbols onto the large piece of stretched animal skin that lay on the table. Calwyn, uncomfortable with the silence began chattering away about how funny it was that after months of yearning for warmth she now longed for the chill of snow in the burning Merithuran sun. Trout was only half listening; it was all he could manage. He knew this insistent chatter was for his benefit and so it was times like this when he tuned his friends out. He knew that they meant well when they did this, this idle meaningless talk. It was a small, loving attempt to distract him from his pain. If he could for a moment escape his sorrow he would smile, thank his friends for their compassion. Tonno, for insisting that he join him fishing for a day, Darrow giving him important tasks around the palace, and Calwyn for trying to talk about anything but the one thing they were both thinking about. It was only when Calwyn brought her palm down heavily on the table and called his name did Trout stop what he was doing. Startled he looked up.

"By the Goddess Trout, it's as though I'm not even here!" She said .

He looked down, ashamed. She deserved better, he was being rude. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Calwyn softened. "I miss her too, everyday. It's not real yet, not at all. At times I could swear I hear her laughing in one of the corridors, only to find it's one of the children."

Trout clenched his jaw, willing himself to be strong. They had not spoken of her since they left Antaris, not really. Calwyn took his hand in her own.

"I see her Trout, in my dreams each night."

This caught and held his attention. Since leaving Antaris he had not been able to dream of her. He feared he would forget her face. He now envied Calwyn these nightly encounters.

"Tell me." He whispered urgently

Calwyn hesitated, her straight eyebrows setting in a deep frown. Her eyes would not meet his own. "It's hard to remember now, it's all so cloudy."

Trout sensed that she was not telling the truth and was confused about why she would not want to share her dreams with him.

The hope in his eyes died, he longed to talk about Mica. Throughout the long journey to Merithurous no one had wanted to talk about Mica, it was still too raw. Now, that a month had passed he was ready, he wanted-no he needed to talk about her to someone, anyone. He feared that if they all went on refusing to speak of her, it would be as if she never existed. Trout thought of all the things that had been torturing him since they left Mica behind in Antaris. The realization that he had harbored these tender feelings towards Mica, unbeknownst to even him. The fact that he had to leave her behind in those faraway mountains. The way that his friends tiptoed around him, afraid to be their normal selves in fear of pushing him further into his grief. The searing pain he felt whenever he saw Calwyn who was caught up in a love so consuming, that any pain she endured from losing her friend was muffled by that love. His heart ached because he knew he may never experience such love now that Mica was gone. She was the only one he felt he could maybe one day open up to in that way. Still all of these tormenting thoughts were nothing in comparison to the thought of Mica having never existed at all.


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